Tangled.

I once watched an episode of Sex and the City in which Carrie questioned whether all women just want to be saved. Saved from anything undesirable going on in their lives, and whether that's the secret to love. During my 10am showers, I find myself thinking about love and having silly little fantasies about it, and quite often they used to involve myself being saved, in a number of ways, but mostly it had some kind of superhero theme. I'd be kidnapped or attacked and I'd be saved, but not by a man in a lycra suit, but by a bad boy, a boy that would be there for me and ONLY me. How ridiculous. Twilight syndrome.

Since becoming a Tumblr user (/addict), I've found those 'help me I'm hopeless' fantasies changing into 'bitch, I can save myself' fantasies. My superhero boy turned into an evil villain that I had to defeat, which is still ridiculous at the end of the day. I identify as a feminist (as everyone should) and I believe men and women should always help each other, but since becoming one with myself, and embracing myself as female, I find a healthier state of mind in being powerful in the silly stories I make up in my head. I do not need to be saved by anyone else, I decided, because I am my own problems, and I can solve my own problems with hard work in time.

Truthfully, the SATC episode made me feel a little resilient towards the words 'need to be saved'. Why do I need a man in order to feel safe? Why does it have to be falling in love that saves us? I believe that being single is not a crime, and looking after oneself isn't either. I am badgered by people who look at self assured women, women who are happy with themselves and flaunt themselves, and they call them vain or slutty, as if a woman being happy with herself is scary and wrong. Life is hard enough without being made to feel inferior to anyone. People will never stop judging, so it's better to just admire and believe in yourself. Of course, I am being a hypocrite here. I'm preaching about being happy and supportive of yourself when I myself have crippling self doubt and believe I can't get anywhere because of who I am. I have grown over time, I used to think looks were everything, and something as ridiculous as being overweight was holding me back. Everyone has confidence issues and it's hard to psychoanalyse life, but if you celebrate yourself and go for the things you want and need for yourself, then you can be your own superhero.

I guess everyone wants to be saved. Saved from themselves or from others. That's why everyone has those falling in love fantasies, but don't we also have those 'being a badass bitch' fantasies? I know I do. Who doesn't want someone to swing in and catch them when they're falling? It seems like the easier option, but in the end, it doesn't work that way. Take a note from Bridesmaids. If you're not happy with yourself, no one else will make you happy. I'm not saying you're alone, but you have to realise that you are pivotal in your own improvement.